It has been awhile but time has never been closer

July is almost over! It honestly seems unreal to me that I meet you next month. So, there's a guy that is working in downtown Sequim, construction. Haleigh and Mom called me the other day to tell me. They think he might be you hahaha. We drove by once but I haven't seen him. Besides, I don't meet you until next month so I'm not trying to force anything.

Currently I am housesitting at the Lambs. I'm sure by now that you've been up there and know what an incredible place it is. It is by far my most favorite house to sit. The setting is so romantic and beautiful. I wish you were here to share it with me. Originally I was going to be staying here into the first week of August but they decided to cut their trip short and will be coming home on July 27th. I was kind of hoping that I would meet you while staying here so you could come up and spend time with me here. I'd cook you dinner and we could soak in the hot tub together. Oh well, there will be plenty of time for romantic get-aways :-)

I wonder what you're up to this summer so far. It's really rather funny how fast summer goes by. Usually I want it to slow down but this summer I can't get to the end fast enough. Of course, after we meet I want time to slow down but until then I wouldn't mind it going by in the blink of an eye.

Finding you is the most important thing in my life! I wonder what your priorities are right now. Can you remember? I'm pretty excited to give this blog to you so you can have a glimpse into the time before we met. I hope you appreciate it. I feel a little vulnerable considering I'm putting myself out there and my heart on the line for a man I don't even know yet haha. I guess I just have faith in myself that the man I marry will be the kind of man I think will get me.

Well, the sun is call me. It's time for some nude sunbathing ;-)

Wish you were here!

One month to go!

Hey Sweetheart,

I don't have a lot of time cause I have a meeting at work I need to get to but I know I haven't written in awhile and wanted you to know that I haven't forgotten about you. It's July 1, 2010 today which means that the countdown seriously begins today! I am soooo excited that I meet you in just a month.

So, something happened the other day that I want you to know about. Have I mentioned my ex-boyfriend Chris at all? He was the guy I was dating in Hawaii. Well, we bought Kai together and when we broke up in the summer of 2007 I told him I wanted to keep Kai which he agreed to. Well, over the past three years he has tried to contact me on and off. At first I was nice to him because he owed me money and kept promising to send it to me. I eventually realized that was never going to happen and severed ties. A few months back he sent numerous friend requests on Facebook and this was the conversation that followed:

Between Chris Haugen and You

Katie Fothergill April 5 at 8:52am
Is there something you want to say to to me or are you just trying to add another number to your friends? I'm confused at your intentions for the recurring friend requests.

April 8 at 1:42am
Actually no I have nothing to say to you and I don't need you as a friend but I would really love to hear about how Kai is doing. I tried the phone number I had for you but it doesn't work. Even though we have our issues I do miss him and would like to hear how he is doing every once in a while. Even a picture would be nice.

Katie Fothergill April 8 at 9:37am
If you had handled things between us differently I may be more inclined to include you in my life. Since you have no interest in ME anyway, I'm definitely not going to tell you about my dog. That's a topic saved for friends and family. Given that you are neither, it does not concern you. My phone number is the same it ever was; enough said about that. By the way, it's kind of strange that you recently put pictures of me up on your page. It would be one thing if we were friends but...Please Chris, just leave me alone. You lost all your rights to Kai when you betrayed me. Nonetheless, may God bless you with happiness in your present life and help you find the courage to let go of connections you had in the past.

And then I blocked him so he couldn't contact me anymore. Well a few days ago I had left myself logged into my Yahoo account and when I came back to the computer this was the IM that I received from him:

"your going to come home one day soon and kai will be gone. locking your door isnt going to help ill just break the fucker down. i hope you and your whole family rot in hell. i tried to give you time to become less of a selfish cunt but it looks like that will never change. i hope you get hit by a fuckin semi you self centered piece of shit. my time with you would have been better spent hitting myself in the head with a hammer. i get sick everytime i even think about the giant waste of my life you were."

I showed Mom and we called the police and everything but they didn't think it was that serious. It's pretty scary considering that I broke up with this guy three years ago and he still has such intense feelings! I'm trying not to live in fear but it's really hard. I would devastated if I lost Kai. I'm going to feel much, MUCH better once you and I are living together and Chris doesn't know where to find Kai. I know that being with you will heal my anxiety and that you will protect us.

Okay Honey, I have to get going. But, I love you tons and am so anxious for next month! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

What our future holds for us

Have I mentioned how I've been struggling with the idea of having children? Don't get me wrong, even since I can remember I've known deep down that I would be a mother one day. Well, with everything in the world the way it has been the past few years I've been doubting this. Sometimes I feel that bringing children into this world would be a selfish act and not the best thing for the children. I've always to experience the love I could give as a mother and the love I would then return from a child. Not to mention the bond it would create between my husband and me to create a life together.

I no longer have this decision struggle going on in my mind. Something pretty amazing happened to me a few nights back. I talk to God on a regular basis. Sometimes I think he responds but I'm never quite sure if it's just my own mind putting a voice to what I think, or want to hear from God. I'm still unsure whether this is true or not. However, I am positive of what happened the other night.

I dreamt that you and I had gone somewhere (how I can dream about someone I've not yet met is even beyond me. All I know is I was with my a man I romantically loved. Because I do not have a boyfriend, I'm assuming it was you.) and there was chaos everywhere we turned. We had to fight for our vehicle from people trying to take it. People openly had weapons out and were fighting. A few times you had to protect me from being harmed. As I started to draw out of the dream and moved into that space where you aren't awake and yet are aware enough to not be asleep I talked with God. I had the thought again that if my dream was any inclination of what the world could be like then I don't want to bring children into that.

I received a response. Often when I pray I tell God that I want to be used to do his work. I want him to flow through me so that I can help others in any way that he wants. Well, the response he gave me was something like this, "if you decide not to have children, then you won't be doing my work". It was a profound moment for me. Not only will I never doubt my decision to bring children into this world, I know HE has been listening to me, and I know HE talks back. Isn't that incredible?! It makes me all warm and comforted just to think about it. I'm almost in tears right now.

I've always told people that I have a relationship with God but it was not until this moment that I truly felt it in my soul. I'm far from being perfect and can admit that I am a great sinner. BUT, I know I am loved and forgiven by my God who is there wanting a relationship with me.

Anyway, I wanted to share that with you. I look at having children in such a different light now. I want it not for my own selfish reasons but because it is what God wants me to do. I am meant to mother just as you are meant to father. I bet our kids will be terrific! I'm soooo excited =-)

XOXO

Any excuse to stay in with you

Today is such a dreary, miserable day outside. If you were here with me I would suggest that we start a fire, cuddle up in blankets and watch romantic comedies together. I've never really been a big fan of the rain (thank the Lord it rains less in Sequim than the rest of western Washington!) but I do enjoy it under the right circumstances.

There's something romantic about holing up inside when it's miserable outside and using it as an excuse to spend all day kissing and cuddling. I hope we have lots and lots of romantic rainy days!

Would you honor me with a dance?

Hi Honey,

I cannot believe that May is almost over! I am more and more excited to meet you with each passing day. So, I was thinking the other day, I'd really like to learn how to ballroom dance. Do you dance? I know that guys can be finicky about dancing. Anyway, I'm hoping that you will learn how to do it with me. I think it will be fun and something just for us. Since you aren't reading this until after we're already married...did I mention that I decided to give it to you as a wedding gift? I've written so many posts at this point that I apologize if I repeat things. I have a tendency at this point to repeat my thoughts in reference to you. I mean, what do you expect given that I haven't met you yet?

So, the point I was making is that I'm not sure how dancing at our wedding will be. I'm hoping that we can start dancing lessons while we're dating. I think it would be really fun to show our stuff at our wedding reception. I went to a wedding and reception the other day with Mom and Haleigh. The couple that got married only knew each other for a few months (literally like 3 months) and decided to get married. Everyone thought they were crazy but they truly appear to be very happy. I suppose when you know, you know. I have a feeling that's how it will be for us too. Anyway...I'm getting off topic here. The couple that wed had met dancing. So, many of the people they had at their reception knew how to dance. Haleigh and I were out there doing our thing which was nothing "proper" in the world of dance I assure you but we were having fun anyway.

I'm sure I haven't mentioned this before but Peder's dad is a dancer. Well, he was at the reception. It was nice that things weren't that awkward and he even came and sat by me for a bit and talked. So, I'm sitting by the dance floor and he comes and requests a dance from me. I was petrified! It actually turned out pretty well. Of course I didn't know what I was doing but being the woman I was able to just follow him. It was actually pretty fun.

Okay, enough about that. I just wanted to tell you that I hope we can dance through life together =-) Of course, if you really really don't want to, that's ok. I'm just hoping that you do want to.

XOXO
That's all for now my Sweet.

Wanna Play?

I was playing with Haleigh yesterday, wrestling around through the house and I realized how much I like to be playful. I started wondering if you're a playful person. I do hope so. Now that you're reading this I want you to do something...at some point between now and the next few days or so I want you to do something playful with me. Of course, at this point I have no idea what our relationship is like so maybe this will be a normal thing but you can tell me afterward that it was because you read this post. Do something like start an indoor water fight with me, or a food fight, or tell me you want to bake a cake together and then smear frosting on my nose or something like that.

Hopefully I'll react well to it. I'm sure you'll know me well enough to know when a good time will be. I look forward to playing with you =-) I think that life is meant to experience and have fun with. Having a spouse to me means sharing those moments with each other. I want us to have a happy and fun-filled life together. Please do me a favor, do us a favor and don't ever let me forget that I said this. So many times couples lose sight of the heart of their marriage and lose themselves and their relationship. It's sooooo important to me that this does not happen to us...ever!

I love you, My Favorite Playmate =-D

Love is...the reason we're here on earth

Just wanted to check in so you would know I hadn't forgotten about you. I've been hearing our song a lot on the radio lately. I love it! I went for a visit at my great aunt and uncle's house yesterday. I'm trying to get all my visiting in while I'm in Seattle. My aunt is one smart cookie! I really enjoy the conversations that I have with her. She is a wealth of knowledge for life and my family's history which is very nice for me given that I don't know much about my family...or life considering I'm only 27 and she's 80. I'll take you to meet them one day. They're wonderful!

My aunt was telling me a story of when she was a young girl. She said that God told her that there was a man out to see named Lawrence who she would marry. This was a few years before she actually met him but isn't that wonderful?! Remember how I was telling you that I wish I knew what your name is? Maybe I haven't been listening close enough. It would be such a blessing if God told me your name.

I cannot believe that April is almost over already! Not that I'm complaining. Each passing month gets me closer to you.

Today is a sunny day. Not quite as warm as yesterday but still nice. I hope you're enjoying it wherever you are.

Hugs!