Cleaning out the cobwebs

I just spent over an hour cleaning up all my email, whew! It feels good to get stuff organized and cleaned out. I like to think that it's symbolic to my life right now. I've never been the type of person to really truly appreciate "alone time". I'm much happier when surrounded by loved ones. However, I do understand the importance of it. Given that in six months it will be the end of my "alone time" as I know it, I really think I need to take advantage of this time to clean out some of my emotional, and mental cobwebs.

Spending time with myself can only make me a better person. Don't get me wrong, I'm obviously looking forward to August...this fact made prevalent by the big red circle around the name of the month on my calendar. But, I know that this time is precious. I feel truly blessed to have the inside look into my future. If I did not know my husband-to-be is right around the corner, so to speak, I probably would be more focused on grief, loss, and feeling sorry for myself. I take the side that some things are not meant to be known. On the other hand, knowing can be such a gift in itself. This is one of those situations.

So, what am I going to do to better myself? Anything I want, whenever I want to! I'm going to swim. Not to get in shape but because I love swimming. I'm going to write. Not to make profit but because I'm good at it and it leaves me with a sense of accomplishment and an insight into my unconscious and imagination. I'm going to spend time with my family. Not for their benefit but because I love the heck out of them and always want them near me. I'm going to think, think, and think some more. Most people are so busy they are completely unaware of their thoughts even though they have thousands a day. There is no better way I can think of to know myself better than to simply listen to what I have to say to myself. Though I know myself better than anyone, I really don't spend much time with myself.

All of these things may seem like self-centered, selfish acts. That's true! The thing is, not enough credit is given to selfish acts. I truly believe that in order to love another to the full extent of humanly possible, one must love themselves first. Those who do not take the time to extend their well-being are not only cheating themselves out of the joy it provides, they are cheating others out of the love they could be receiving and in turn be giving. And so, the next six months will be known for the rest of my life as "the 'me' months" and I will remember them and speak of them fondly.