Epiphany

Knowledge is really an interesting thing. I woke up this morning feeling a bit insecure. Today I go into town for a two night, three day housesitting job. I've sat at this house before and have no anxieties about taking care of the animals or the house. My stress stemmed from the location. The house is literally about five minutes from Kindred's. I have been strong in refraining from contact and know that this weekend will be no different (as long as liquid-courage is not introduced into the situation). I don't want anything to lower my inhibitions because I have been known to make decisions I later regret. As a support my sister is going to spend the night with me at the house, bless her heart.

Well, all that worry was for nothing really. I no longer have it at all. As I've mentioned before, I've decided to spend this alone time to better myself. I have always felt compelled to increase my spiritual awareness and improve my understanding of life. This morning I decided to start meditating. I looked up ways to become centered and then went to my bedroom to practice. Two phone calls and an episode of dog barking later, I was more frustrated than centered. I went back to the computer to at least read more about it for future practice. What I came across was profound. So much so that I was able to realize my part in the failures of all my romantic relationships and some lost friendships over the course of the years. I have been much to selfish. I came across a video which I thought was going to teach me how to meditate but instead taught me my flaws in relationships.

I was so overwhelmed by understanding that I wrote Kindred an email and sent the link for the video. The thing with Kindred and me is that we are soooo alike. I'm hoping that because I got a lot out of the video, so will he. We were both making the same mistakes by putting heavy expectations on the other person to make ourselves happy. After watching the video I realize that expectations of that degree are absolutely ridiculous and bound for failure. The only person who can make me happy is me. The same goes for Kindred. I truly hope that he is able to take the information to heart and change his downfalls so that he can have meaningful relationships in the future. That's what I intend to do now.

I want to share the video with all of you. I hope you can get as much out of it as I have. It is the first video on the right named, "Improving your relationships".
http://www.how-to-meditate.org/videos/