Back to the grind

I had an eventful weekend on the other side of the water with my cousin A. I went over Friday and stayed until Sunday. We always have fun together and I'm struggling with the fact that she's moving out of the country in just weeks! We went out Saturday night drinking (not much for me cause I was driving) and dancing. One great thing about having Allison with me is that she gets hit on by all the guys and I'm spared, lol. You know how men in bars can be with their eyes undressing every woman and their creepy vibes fogging the room. A. and I were with two of her girlfriends and we had a lot of fun just dancing the four of us.

It feels good to get out and hang with girls. This is something that I regrettably do not do enough of when I'm in a relationship. My boyfriend is always my best friend also which leads to neglecting my girlfriends. Of course, with Kindred, he didn't want me going out much anyway so that didn't help either.

Speaking of Kindred...I received a phone call from him Friday afternoon. He has Friday and Saturday off and the weekend before was when we spent time together. I have to admit I was surprised he called instead of texting. I knew he would wait about a week to contact me because that was the norm before the kissing fiasco led to more complicated connections. Anyway, I noticed he had called after he had already left a voicemail. So, I didn't really not take his call, but I did choose not to call him back. His message was pretty simple telling me that he was thinking about me and wasn't sure if I would take his call. He said he hopes I'm doing well, enjoying the day and that I can call him back if I want to.

As innocent as that sounds, I had a feeling that it was best not to respond. I don't intend to be mean, but I do intend to be distant. I can't let myself worry about him thinking I'm being a b*tch because that would require me explaining things to him and that requires contact. If he does try to contact me again the most I plan to say is that I need time and space before he and I can be friends. For now, I think it's just best to remove myself from the situation all together. The cool part is that I don't really have a desire to talk to him at all.

After we first broke up I was craving his attention immensely. After my brief return to his arms I realized that I had made the correct decision in parting ways and this confirmed my feelings and my direction. I'm actually very grateful for the sense of calm and acceptance that I have. I wish the same for him.