Back to basics

Well, it took a little longer than I thought but I'm back to not seeing Kindred. I saw him yesterday and though I had planned on cutting things off then, it didn't quite work out that way. I've always been the type of person to talk about personal things like this in person but I'm finding that doing this with Kindred is more of a challenge than anything else. We end up falling into the temptation that is "us". I don't want to go into details but after leaving him yesterday I had shared my apprehension for getting back together but had not completely told him that it wasn't happening.

I saw him again today. We spent some time together being "us" and then went to the golf course for lunch. Everything was going fine, as fine as can be suspected, when he received a text message that I did not expect. It turned out that Kindred was planning on going out this evening with some friends to a local bar. I've always been very forthcoming with everything that I feel, think, and do and appreciate others doing the same with me. Kindred knew right away that he had messed up by purposely keeping the information from me. The conversation progressed about the subject and Kindred admitted that he had been planning on dating and going out to meet people. He followed up by saying that this was not what he wanted. He wanted me to tell him not to go and to be with me. Of course, he would have done that if I had said so much.

I couldn't do that though. I don't feel that way. I told Kindred that he should go out, have fun, and date people. He doesn't owe anything to me nor I anything to him. After numerous efforts to keep me there at his house I was able to leave. Now Kindred knows for sure that things are over between us.

I feel relieved. I knew it had to come to this. Now I can get back to the important thing...my husband-to-be. August seems so far away still. And yet, I had a final session with a client the other day and I realized that she and I had been seeing each other for counseling for six months. That time seemed to fly by. Once August hits I'm sure I'll be saying the same thing about this time flying by.

I'm just so excited! I'm looking forward to ending my single-life and starting the romance that will last for the majority of my life. I'm going to treasure him and do everything I possibly can to make it a relationship that God would be proud of. Soon, soon, soon. I'm just glad I'm back on track. I faltered, but I won't again.