"D" Day

The sun is shining brightly and I'm in a pretty good mood today. After days of back and forth torment about my decision, I've reached a conclusion. I will see Kindred tomorrow. Not that I have any followers to this blog but if I did I'm sure you all would be shaking your heads and eagerly writing comments to reconsider. Can't say I disagree with you.

I'm giving into the temptation to see him but under a very specific condition. Tomorrow I will tell him that I don't want to reenter into a relationship with him. Kindred has not yet pressured me to make a decision but a text from him yesterday implied that he already assumes that we're going to be back together. He made reference to celebrating my graduation from M.S. school in June. I understand why he made this assumption given that we have been talking the way we did when we were dating. However, my feelings never changed in respect to this decision. Considering a relationship with him is out of the question for me.

The other part that I struggled with was prolonging the affair, and let's face it, that's what it would be. It's kind of like when you're dating someone you already know it isn't going to work out with but you're trying to find the right time to break up, "I can't do it now because Valentine's Day is next month, then it's my birthday, then we have plans for a trip, etc. etc. etc.". I've been doing a bit of that in my head. However, my conscience has won, which I knew it would, and I know I have to break things off now. It's for the best. I hope it isn't harder this time around for Kindred. I don't want him to hate me. I guess I'll know tomorrow...