Self reflection

Well let's see, how am I doing? Everything really seems to be getting easier with each passing day. I still find myself thinking a lot about Kindred but it isn't nearly as much as it was. On the contrary, I find myself daydreaming a lot about my husband-to-be. The Intuitive Life Coach (the psychic I mentioned) told me that I should practice writing about the life I will have with "Him" as a way to draw him toward me. I've done a little of this but mostly everything is scribed in my mind.

My anxiety level is the lowest since the break-up though I get a slight tinge from time to time when I think of Kindred. Even so, I'm grateful that I decided to enter into the relationship. I believe that every romantic relationship is a learning experience but this one I was most grateful for because it has completely altered my perception of my role in a relationship. I suppose that subconsciously I was aware that I was trying to change my past boyfriends. My longest love especially put up with a lot of me griping about things he was doing wrong and things he needed to change in order for me to be happy (remember the video? it still sounds ridiculous saying it now. I cannot believe I was so selfish as to put my happiness as an expectation on someone else). With Kindred I didn't do a lot of this. Granted, we only dated for four months but I think the main reason was that he was doing enough of it on his end.

Kindred would get upset with something that I did and then refuse to compromise with me. It was his way or the highway and I was the one who needed to do all the changing. He didn't like me the way I was and I found myself in arguments due to things that I really didn't feel I needed to change about myself. The bottom line, it didn't feel good! It made me feel bad about myself that I wasn't accepted and that Kindred didn't like these things about me. I found myself entertaining the idea of change just because I wanted to steer away from arguments and find harmony in the relationship. I am grateful to Kindred for showing me this side of the fence. Now, knowing what it feels like to be with someone who is constantly trying to change me, I will not again do this to another.

I will accept my husband-to-be and all the bad habits that come with him. True acceptance is the only way to truly offer unconditional love. I believe that unconditional love is something vacant from most romantic relationships and marriages. Really, how many couples do you know that would stay together if they were cheated on by their partner? Granted, it is the extreme scenario but it is still a "condition". We set these expectations and conditions and if they are broken by the other person it leads to a loss of the relationship.

Great examples of unconditional love is that between a parent and a child. For the most part, most parents completely love their children despite any bad they may do. It is such a strong love that they can oversee negative behaviors and continue to love them wholeheartedly.

I want this kind of love for my marriage. It is so rare and yet I think the absolute most rewarding. Some may look at this as a free pass to cheat but I don't think it works that way. If you can truly give your spouse unconditional love, the bond that creates is so strong, comforting, and secure that your spouse would never dream of cheating on you. I believe it is out of insecurity that people commit this injustice unto those they "love".

Unconditional love = true love = true happiness = complete harmony = the ideal marriage